♥ i was made for you

Don't look back

Shirt: H&M's.
Skirt & ring: Lindex.
Shoes: Björn Borg.

(Happy birthday to me! 21 years old.)

Valentine's day

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
— Neil Gaiman

When I was a kid, Valentine's day meant chocolates and cheesy movies. Before my ex, I swore it was a stupid tradition and it was invented to make money. Then when I was with my ex, we'd go out for a romantic dinners and we'd give each other gifts. One year we had, actually accidentally, given each other the exact same presents--a teddybear, a box of chocolates and a mix cd (although I made a tape, of course). Everything was cheesy and dandy like in the movies I grew up watching. And now, I don't know. It does make me feel alone, and it probably was invented to make money, and maybe I would rather have a lover to spend it with, but today I am content with having a date with cake and Inigo Montoya, i.e. I'll be watching The Princess Bride. ♥___♥

How I feel about love is an entirely different matter.

dream a little dream of me

Listening to She & Him all day. ♥

dream party

You, me & tea. by Alaska Lee

My dream party would be in a big garden full of flowers with lights and lanterns hanging from the trees, and there would be wizard cakes and all kinds of yummy treats. It'd be a tea party (only maybe we'd be drinking wine.. too) and it'd be girls only, and we'd all wear pretty dresses and cute hats and golden shoes. We'd dance into the dawn and the party would end running barefoot across fields to watch the sunset, you know, like in Marie Antoinette. The soundtrack would be amazing too, with Lykke Li, She & Him, The Velvet Underground, and lots of 50's and 60's pop.

Inspired by Monki magazine.

a longing

‎

"You felt no reality, no knife of sorrow cut your intestines to bits. Only a weariness,
a longing for a shoulder to sleep on, and a pair of arms to curl up in." Sylvia Plath

words were trees of brown, of gold

♥ Eet by Regina Spektor
♥ Fools Rush In by The Morning Benders
♥ The Onliest by Feist
♥ Battle Scars by Daniel Fincannon
♥ The Air Your Breathe... by Lovers
♥ Blue Skies by Noah & the Whale
♥ Postcards From Italy by Beirut
♥ Om Nashi Me by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
♥ A Friend Indeed by Marla Hansen
♥ Come By Storm by Laura Gibson
♥ Let's Trade Skins by Great Lake Swimmers

A little mix for you.

dust

Xanthe left me. I found out her new address,
and returned the kettle she had left behind.
The next day I took her a book she had lent
me. I found a box of hairgrips, and delivered
one each day. If she wasn't home I would
post it with a long letter explaining how I had
found it on the floor. When I had returned
them all, I took her, on the tip of my finger, a
tiny ball of dust. 'I remember seeing it fall
from your dress one afternoon,' I said. 'The
pretty one, with the flowers on it.'.

from Anthropology, by Dan Rhodes.

home is whenever i'm with you

"While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was going to be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you until just now"

I wish for spring and creativity; sunlight illuminating everything.
I want to surround myself only with pretty things; lace, flowers, skeleton keys, pictures of places far away, light, bird song, floral prints, words, cotton candy pink, dreamy music, green grass and trees in bloom. Everything would come naturally and I would be creating again.

Sometimes I even wish for a boy to lose myself in.

anonymous poem

There is a bottle of pills inside my stomach.
I should know; I put them there.
I put them there to make me die.
That way I won’t have to think.
About deadened silence.
And raging storms.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
Maybe the true answer lies buried,
hidden there,
amongst the things,
In the closet of my mind.

Full poem here.

dear darkness.

Winter never ends. It just goes on and on--I wish someone would come along and melt the ice, and my heart, too. I want to see the world with fresh eyes; wake up and feel the sun on my face and life in my body, with the possibility to do anything. I want spring, I want inspiration, I want love.
There's an aching in my bones, an emptiness inside me, and as I wake up, I dread the hours of the day, to survive and live to see tomorrow, which will be the same as today, and the day before. Everything is heavy.

Things I want to do:
♥ Start exercising and eating better; lose weight.
♥ Create more--moleskine pages, drawing  and painting.
♥ Take more photos with my disposable camera.
♥ Go visit my brother up north.