waking up to you

a mess of hair
and sleepy limbs
sprawled across the bed
tangled in the sheets

i trace constellations
in the freckles on your back
your lukewarm skin
soft beneath my fingers

sun rays slip into
our secret hiding place
through the blinds
illuminating

heavy-lidded eyes
grey and brown
like the trunk of the tree
in my backyard

you mouth
sweet nothings into my neck
your murmurs resonating
in my very core

a hand splayed
over the dazed thrum of my heart
and your lips meet mine
in a sighing kiss

I will only let you down, but my door is always open..

Spent most of the night bawling over Sherlock fanfics.

I find myself longing for someone to lay next to, someone to keep me from nightmares, someone who will hold my hand to calm me when I'm anxious, and whisper sweet nothings in my ear as we're falling asleep. Someone to wake up next to, sunlight pouring in through the blinds, and into my heart. Someone to keep me safe. For now, I'll put on my biggest flannel shirt and curl up in bed, just trying to breathe, hoping to dream of better things.

I hate intimacy, but it's far worse having nothing at all, sometimes.

#Making a Sherlock/John fanmix.

end of march

Today is the last day of March, which means tomorrow is April and spring is just around the bend. And hopefully spring will bring new, exciting things! Even if it doesn't, it fills my heart with light and every day is just a little bit easier to get through. I will be happier.

This morning seems like a bad dream to me now.

Stan är full av tanter och tragik

Today is the Spring Equinox and I said a little prayer; the sky is blue and the snow is melting and it's starting to feel just a little bit lighter.

I am wanting, longing. I want adventures, staying up all night telling secrets, running down the streets of Gothenburg, picnics in the park, Håkan Hellström, scraped knees and sunlight on my face. I miss having a best friend like her. Life was always good with her; everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. We had each other, we were like sisters, and I miss that closeness.

I miss having a life.

Den här gången kanske världen förstår oss..

a longing

‎

"You felt no reality, no knife of sorrow cut your intestines to bits. Only a weariness,
a longing for a shoulder to sleep on, and a pair of arms to curl up in." Sylvia Plath

home is whenever i'm with you

"While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was going to be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you until just now"

I wish for spring and creativity; sunlight illuminating everything.
I want to surround myself only with pretty things; lace, flowers, skeleton keys, pictures of places far away, light, bird song, floral prints, words, cotton candy pink, dreamy music, green grass and trees in bloom. Everything would come naturally and I would be creating again.

Sometimes I even wish for a boy to lose myself in.

dear darkness.

Winter never ends. It just goes on and on--I wish someone would come along and melt the ice, and my heart, too. I want to see the world with fresh eyes; wake up and feel the sun on my face and life in my body, with the possibility to do anything. I want spring, I want inspiration, I want love.
There's an aching in my bones, an emptiness inside me, and as I wake up, I dread the hours of the day, to survive and live to see tomorrow, which will be the same as today, and the day before. Everything is heavy.

Things I want to do:
♥ Start exercising and eating better; lose weight.
♥ Create more--moleskine pages, drawing  and painting.
♥ Take more photos with my disposable camera.
♥ Go visit my brother up north.